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Cheri Liefeld

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Preparing For Your First Small Group Meeting

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Fall brings a new season of small groups and bible studies. It’s like the start of school for adults. First small group meetings are filled with anticipation and a bit of apprehension.

Women show up for many reasons. Some were encouraged by their pastor  to get involved and take that next step. Others have this deep longing to make friends, build community. For the first 40 years of my life I attended 3 churches. I experienced deep community and looked forward to seeing my friends each Sunday. After 15 years,  I moved away from the church I called home. I was a little broken, a little lost and like the Israelites, I wandered for many years. I visited many awesome churches but didn’t stop long enough to put down roots and build relationships.

One Sunday, three years ago I knew I was home. I had found my place. I couldn’t wait to get to church on Sunday. Time passed,  I was still loved  my church  but had no friends, lacked community and wasn’t serving. I had joined a small group,  but many of them didn’t attend my church. My heart  longed for connection. I craved community and friendship at my church.

Many women joining studies and small groups this month will share that feeling. The longing to see someone in the halls of the church and say hi. To have a conversation and share a cup of coffee. Without that, leaving church on a Sunday, can be the loneliest time of the week.

Preparing For Your First Small Group Meeting

They have taken that first step they have signed up and now they are thinking:

  • Who will be in my group?
  • Will I make a connection?
  • Will I be accepted?
  • Whose house am I going into?
  • What was I thinking?

Maybe as a first time leader you are thinking the same thing. “I just agreed to have 8 perfect strangers come over to my house.” Take a deep breath, it is going to be ok. It is exciting, when we step out in faith. We are opening the doors to God and saying

Here are some ways you and I can prepare our hearts and home to create a space for our group.

Pray Over Your Small Group

Pray for your group in the days and weeks before you begin. Ask God to bring you people hungry for Jesus and community. Tell him your hopes and dreams for the group and then give it all over to him.

Pray for the group by name. As the time gets closer and you find out who will be in your group pray for each member of the group.

Pray for the group to bond.We have all been in groups where it didn’t gel or some of the group did, while others felt left out.

Pray that God would bless your group, that people would connect. Ask that He would equip you to lead the group. Ask for wisdom, that He would direct your path. Pray for protection for your group.

Creating A Space For Your Small Group

Think about little ways you can make your guests feel welcome.

  • Pitcher of water or lemonade
  • Coffee is always good but maybe a decaf option
  • Snack of fruit, nuts, cheese or chips to munch on while you talk
  • Something sweet
  • Mason jar of pens and pencils
  • Extra Bible

The Awkward First Talk

As a leader you have the opportunity to set the tone and pace of the meeting. Start by sharing a little about yourself and how God led you to start this group. Invite everyone to share how they came to the group.

Ideas for ice breakers:

  • Share 3 things about yourself we wouldn’t know
  • Favorite summer vacation
  • If I have 30 minutes to myself I…
  • Favorite place to have lunch

Cast The Vision

Cast the big picture. What is your church’s vision. Ours is to:

  • Make Friends
  • Love Jesus
  • Make a Difference

Talk about what the group will be doing. This puts people at ease. We want to know where we are going.

Discuss what the regular sessions will be like and share any special dates. Invite people to contribute by bringing a snack or dessert, have someone make a list of everyone’s emails and share with the group. These little acts draw people in and make them feel like they are contributing to the group.

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Matthew 18:20

End the first night by sharing a prayer request. Keep this simple – one way we can pray you this week.

How do you prepare for your small group? I’d love to hear from you! Share in the comments below.

Blessings,

Cheri

Thanksgiving Table Talk {with free printables}

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Thanksgiving is coming up and our families will gather around the table. Spice up your conversation this year by adding Thanksgiving table talk questions. Sometimes when you gather year after year, our conversation become stagnant. We talk about the same things. Families can get into a rut over the years and changing up the conversation is one way to breathe new life into your gatherings.

Last year my aunt brought over a set of questions. We had a great time discovering new things about our relatives. Honestly, it was funny the quirky things we found out about each other.

Table talk is not just for adults! Maybe you have noticed that the little ones get antsy and bored during long holiday meals. Having fun questions keeps them engaged. They might even enjoy sitting at the table a bit longer. Table talk questions offer the chance to:

  • Learn about people’s hopes and dreams
  • Discover hidden talents
  • Explore family heritage
  • Bring some humor to the table after a tough political season
  • Provide opportunities to be thankful and express their gratitude
  • Strengthen kids conversation skills

I created a set of questions just for you! You can use these questions with both kids and adults.

thanksgiving table talk questions

Create a Table Talk Jar

Supplies you will need:

  • Mason Jar
  • Ribbon
  • Scissors
  • Printable
  • Tag
  • Holepunch

gratitude-table-talkers_page_1

Print out both the Thanksgiving Table Talk questions and the Thankful Tag. Cut out the questions and the tag.

Use the hole punch to create a hole at the top of the tag.

Tie the ribbon around the jar, leaving enough room to tie on the tag. Tie a knot and then thread one end of the ribbon through the tag. Tie and trim the ribbon to desired length.

Place the questions in the jar.

To use: You can have each person select a question and answer OR have everyone take turns answering the same question.

Add some of your own questions or invite the kids to contribute a few questions. Ask them what are things they wish they knew about the family.

Hope you enjoy! How you do get the conversation going? Share in the comments so we can inspire each other.

Blessings,

Cheri

If you make this I would love to see it. Snap a photo and tag @advinthekitchen!

Creating A Prayer Space For Your Quiet Time

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Where do you meet God for your daily quiet time? I have found that creating a prayer space at home to meet God makes all the difference! Daily quiet time stills our souls and helps us escape the noises of our lives. Having space sets the stage for a rich prayer life.

Since moving back home after the fire I have been at work, creating a little nook of my own. Some of my richest prayer times have been sitting in a comfy chair, where I would meet God each morning.

Be still and know that I am God..Psalm 46:10

Being creative, discipline and order do not come easy. Just being real here. For years I have started my morning in prayer and bible study. My morning prayer time goes much better if I have everything to together. Have you sat down and started to read the bible and realized you don’t have a pen. You get up gather one and start again. Then you realize your missing your reading glasses and can’t see a thing. Back up again. All these distractions are just that – distracting you from meeting Jesus.

First, find the space or spaces that are most conducive to being still. Make it your prayer space, a place you wake up and go to. It is your meeting place with God. Growing up I would wake up and Dad would be sitting on our couch reading the Bible. Some people like to sit outside. My most precious times with Jesus were in a blue and white striped chair.

Combat the distractions by creating a prayer tray or basket where you gather everything you need for your quiet time. When I am starting a cooking class cook we talk about mis-en-place. Mis-en-place means putting everything in its place. It refers to gathering all the ingredients for your recipe prior to starting to cook.

Making a prayer box or tray is the mis-en-place of prayer. It is where I put everything I need for my time of Bible study and prayer. I grab my basket and place on my bed or next to the chair and I can settle in for time with God.

Elements of A Prayer Box

I switch between handwriting my journals to using this amazing little program called Day One, an online journal. You can password protect it and you have a page for each day. Day One has features like adding photos and

Creating A Prayer Space 4

Before I start my quiet time I open up my laptop to Day One. Some days I want to write out my prayers, but most mornings I journal them in Day One. It has all these great features where you can add photos and tags. Sometimes I add the tags, but mostly I journal and that is it. I do use templates. Last year when I went through Michael Hyatt’s Best Year Ever, he shared a template that he used every day.  It guides me through what I want to think about every morning.

Creating a Prayer Space 2

This year I wanted to stretch my study time to including creative bible journaling so I have included my Journaling Bible and a handful of colored pencils. I discovered this awesome book – Writing in the Margins: Connecting with God on the Pages of Your Bible. Even if you don’t want to draw in your bible, it is a great book for creating space in our lives for God.

When we create a space and organize everything we need for our quiet time, it is easier to enter into time with the Lord. Do you have a system for your prayer time? I would love to hear. Share in the comments below!

 

Moving Mountains with Bold Prayers

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bold prayers

My small group has been studying prayer, bold prayers. It seems like we keep coming back to this subject and that is not an accident. I know my heart longs, yearns really to be closer to Jesus. Yet, I hit the internal snooze button and grab 30 minutes more or follow a rabbit trail on Facebook. Next thing you know, it’s 7 am and the construction workers arrive next door and all hopes of “be still and know I am God” are gone for that moment. Can you relate?

pray boldly moving mountains

We just completed reading John Eldridge book, Moving Mountains. While I didn’t agree with everything, his book prompted me to pray more intentionally and with the confidence we have under the authority of Jesus.

This Bible passage for me was a key takeaway:

“I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart.  I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours. But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”

Pray with faith and confidence. When we live out our daily lives far away from the dreams deep in our hearts it’s easy to say the prayers without really believe in our hearts things will change.

What If We Said Bold Prayers?

Maybe you are a single mom struggling to get through each day. You are married and a mom struggling to get it all done. Life just hasn’t turned out how you had planned. Something deep within you longs for more. If I am honest these are the ones that I think:

  • What if I prayed that God really could bring me a husband?
  • What if I prayed believing that He has a huge plan for my life, even after 50?
  • What if I prayed change me, mold me and let Him?

How would life change if we prayed like this? Bold prayed to Jesus.  Because I believe even just a whisper gives those dreams life, plants little seeds. On a disappointing day, that might be all our souls can muster. How awesome would it be if we prayed boldly, like we really believed it would happen? Prayed with no doubt in our hearts. Regular times of prayer water those seeds of faith.

A man and his little boy were sitting next to me in church a few weeks ok. During worship the leader invited us to lift up our hands and I look over to see this sweet boy lifting both of his hands as he sang. It was clear to me that we need  child-like faith. We need to believe God loves us where we are and that He is waiting for us to run to him.

  • It requires trusting God in the waiting and learning to listen in the silence.
  • Faith requires taking a step, the next step wherever you are at.
  • It means we have to be willing to accept no as one of His answers.

What if we prayed radical prayers of forgiveness and embraced the grace God has extended us?

I actually started this piece a few months ago and as I finish , I can tell you that God is moving. We can pray for what seems like an eternity and in one blink of an eye things can change. One second, one single act of obedience in the midst of the praying faithfully can change everything. I find myself amazed, yet I prayed very specific prayers, so why am I so shocked?

Accepting Answered Prayers

Those moments when you see movement, they are precious. It is an encouragement to pray harder, to rely on Him faithfully. As I write this people I know and care about are struggling. They are heart-broken or facing big challenges. Answered prayers aren’t always yes and happy endings. It might not be healing or an open door. Answered prayers might be endings, or more waiting.

Sometimes, it is plain hard to accept. We cry out bold prayers desperate for answers. As a person who hates to be out of control “not yet” is a hard one. “No” even harder so when we gets the yes, we have to hold tight to those moments. We have to celebrate, thank God for answered prayers and share. We share not to boast but to say keep praying.  It encourages us that God is at work and that He does hear our cries.

What are those desires you need to pray boldly about? If you feel comfortable, share in the comments. I would love to pray for you!

Mentoring

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Last fall I was invited to be part of a mentoring group at Biola University. I had been wanting to find new ways to get involved.  Missing being involved in serving and ministry. Ruby Women  is a ministry of Biola University focused on women growing together, investing in the next generation of leaders and giving generously to advance Biola’s impact on the kingdom of God.

ruby woman mentoring

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I was paired up with Naomi and we began to meet. It was going well and then, in all honestly,  I completely failed mid-year when I was knee-deep in Christmas parties for work and then a fire. Thankfully she was gracious and we reconnected, attending several events this spring. We talked about life, plans for the future and current challenges. I always left inspired.

Ruby Women was great about providing events for us to meet at, but we also met for one on one for dinner  or grabbed a cup coffee. Mentoring doesn’t have to be expensive, it is about investing our time, listening and offering what we have learned along the way. It is about praying and encouraging them on their journey and being a resource for them.

This experience has taken me back to those handful of people who breathed life into me over the years. Unofficial and official mentors along my walk who have cheered me on, picked me back up and shown me grace. Who have modeled walking in faith.

“One of the greatest values of mentors is the ability to see ahead what others cannot see and to help them navigate a course to their destination.” — John C. Maxwell

The day we were paired up we talked about a cooking party  but it took us the entire school year to actually schedule it. I am a little ashamed of that fact. To celebrate the end of the year my friend Kristi and I, along with our girls, had a morning of cooking.

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It was so fun! We met at Kristi’s and I gave them a little lesson on knife skills and then we got cooking. We made:

  • Oven Roasted Bacon
  • Crepes with Fresh Fruit and Vanilla Whipped Cream
  • Quiche

mentoring 15

The morning was filled with laughter and of course, picture-taking of the process. We talked about our plans for the summer and next year. Janelle is graduating but Naomi has one year left. I left so thankful that I took that step and am looking forward to another year of being involved. We also are planning summer cooking at my house!

If you live in Southern California I am hosting a Ruby Women event, Cooking With Love, next Saturday in Anaheim and you can still join us! Either way if you aren’t already doing something like this,  think about who you might connect with:

  • adopt a local college student
  • connect with a young woman at work
  • see if there is a local christian university in your area
  • volunteer with the college group at your church
  • gather your kids and their friends for a meal

Many college kids are far away from home, maybe for the first time and would welcome the opportunity to connect.

Food For Thought: Who was a person in your life that made a difference? Have you told them how much it blessed you? Take time to write an email, note or message sharing how they.

 

When Life Brings A Detour

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when life gives you a detour

One day, one hour, one moment can change things. What do you do when life brings a detour? How do you view God when you hit the detour, when life brings something other than you had hoped for?

As 2015 came to a close things were busy, booming even. The last year my little business had steady growth and the struggles of the early years of a small business owner seemed behind me. I was excited for 2016 and wanted to keep the momentum going. I celebrated in San Francisco, spending time with an old friend and came home ready to take on 2016.

I went out for a meeting and came home a few hours later to the next door units being on fire. Thankfully we were spared but by night I was sitting on a bed in some horrid hotel, reeling that this was happening again. Two years ago a flood put us out for 3 months. My friends now call this the house of terror. My townhouse looks fine but everything smelled of smoke. So much to be thankful for but still waking up in a hotel, even the improved hotel suite, I am calling home, is hard.

Many times I have cried out to God – why am I here again? What didn’t I learn? What do I need to get right?

Have you felt that way?

How you handle detours?

How do we find hope when life and people disappoint us?

I don’t know that I am asking the right questions. What I do know is that God knows my heart, so each morning I dive into His word, praying and seeking His will for my life. On days when I feel out of control, helpless and weary I run to him.

I try to start each day listing everything I have to be grateful for, because I know my current struggle is very little in comparison with what some of you are facing today.

This is what I am clinging to in this season:

If God is for me who can be against me? Romans 8:31

He tells us  “I will never leave you, nor forsake you” Joshua 1:5

If life bring you a detour and you find yourself in a similar space consider:

1. Start Each Day With God

  • Spend time reading the bible. I am going through the One Year Bible. You can purchase one here or go to oneyearbible.com and read that day’s entry.
  • Reflect on what you have read.
  • What verses stand out to you?

Write out your prayers. I go between writing them out in a journal and using Day One, a great journaling tool.

Write down a verse that is meaningful to you.

2. Be Grateful

This is everything. It is life changing. Be thankful. Not just quietly, say thank you. Tell someone what they mean to you.

3. Do Something

Sometimes when we are in difficult situations we retreat, isolate and spend way too much time in our hosting our own private pity party. I think the best thing we can do is get out. Walk or exercise. Spend time with friends. Go to a movie.

4. Take Care Of Yourself

Go easy on yourself. This is the time to practice a bit more self-care. Get more sleep. Do your nails. Read a fun book. Take a bubble bath. Steal a few moments for yourself. When we are in the midst of trials it burns up all of our energy. We can be running around caring for others, forgetting to stop and take a few minutes to feed our own soul.

5. Think Beyond Yourself

Find a way to give back. Do something nice for someone else. Show concern for someone in need. Create a pay it forward line at Starbucks. Who in your life needs help? Who would benefit from a call, an offer to bring over dinner, watch their kids, an anonymous blessing. When we do this we allow we are saying “Lord, I trust that you are in control. I am going to keep on and let you deal with this all.”

If you can do that, days get brighter. Hope swells. We see God in the littlest details of our day.

Romans 12:12  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Psalm 27:4-5 One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple.  For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock.

Hebrews 11:1  Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.